It was a normal workday for cupid, an awkward couple that was meant to be, but didn’t have the “spark” yet. So Cupid pulled out two arrows TWANG! And the couple instantly fell in love. After doing this job for sooooo many years cupid began to get tired even annoyed at seeing all the people instantly fall in love. One day he got the nerve to quit, so he put in his two weeks notice… and decided that was too long, so he just put in his notice. Now he was a free lancer, his wife and kids left him of course, because now he had no income, but he didn’t care (after all, he could just grab some love arrows from the shop and make them fall in love with him again). The first thing to catch his gaze was a bar called “drunkies.” He decided to give it a shot (haha get it? a shot?) He went in to meet the manager, who turned out to be (surprise) completely drunk. He asked for a job and the manager laughed…then cried…then laughed again...and then started screaming. But soon enough he gave Cupid the job. Cupid being a former alcoholic knew quite a bit about alcohol, so he took to it very quickly, however…Many of the drunks in the bar thought it was funny how Cupid dressed…or…didn’t dress for that matter, and they didn’t hesitate to let him know. After roughly the 100^th comment Cupid got about his…unusual dress, he lost it and tackled the drunk and beat the living daylights out of him. As you can imagine the manager heard of it pretty quickly, but it took him 2 weeks to fire Cupid, cause after all…he was a drunk. So now Cupid was off looking for a job again, he wanted something that would spark his interest, just like he sparked interests in young couples (sometimes old couples…but we won’t go there.) And then it hit him! Just like, an 18 wheeler hitting an innocent old lady carrying her groceries. Why not make people hate each other! It was perfect, he was so irritated at his old job, and the hate stock market had gone way up. So he went to the White house and was interviewed by Hillary Clinton “Here in congress it is my desire to turn the entire world against each other and completely ruin our country” was Hillary’s first remark. “I completely understand” Cupid replied, knowing this was the type of woman for him. “You’re hired!” she said with an evil grin, though she always had that grin so maybe it meant nothing. On the first day he was given his hate arrows, but he didn’t have a bow, oh no…he had a crossbow! He began his duty by randomly shooting people in the street, soon he got all of the U.S. and decided to go to France…but everyone there already hated everything, so he went to England. Soon he had the whole world at each others’ throats. Soon world war 3 III broke out, and in the end, Hillary Clinton became Supreme ruler of the world. Now Cupid knew what he did was wrong, but he was still having a heck of a lot of fun, so he waited two more weeks, then assassinated Hillary, and turned the world back to normal. But he couldn’t get his old job back, because they replaced him with a peace loving Hippie.

Hello peoples! Very good stories! And you're ALL WINNERS! haha nah, that'd be to boring...but I actually have 2 winners lol. Well it was my bad for not mentioning that the stories were supposed to all be funny, but most of you picked up on that, but some didn't haha COUGH ANNE COUGH!!! So....our first winner is....(piano roll)....JESSICA!!!!!!!!! YAY!!! and all that cheering stuff!              The thing that sold me with your story, was the pocahantas that came out of nowhere, and said "take me instead!" and because they were savages..they did. haha truly amazing!                 And the second winner is.....(Banjo roll)....Anne!!!!! Her story was very depressing and made you want to shoot yourself haha but her grammar was like perfect, and it looked like it was written by a pro writter haha. SO! As I promised! the winners' stories shall be posted. The first one is Jessica's and the second one's Anne's. ENJOY! Oh and Joseph Queen got honorable mention lol

                                        ~JESSICA'S     STORY~

One day, Sir Badluckalot was taking is daily stroll out in the wilderness when he came upon a toad. Having always wanted the company of a charming prince... to go walking with.... he pick it up and gave it a smackeroo! Immediately the toad transformed into a evil enchantress. It was not quite what Sir Badluckalot was expecting, but disregarding the fact that she was evil, he figured there may be something good in it for him... he was a very optimistic kinda guy. So he said, "oh great evil enchantress, what couldst thou grant me for my noble deed unto thee just now?" and the evil enchantress replied, "oh foolish sir, nothing. cuz I'm not evil nor an enchantress, unfortunately. I'm actually a dude. It's the long black hair that gets me everytime. Anyways, I think the kiss was plenty, so if you could assist me back to my home I would be much obliged. My name is Mr. Badidea." Feeling very embarassed, Badluckalot decided it would be a good idea to help Badidea, and consented to taking him home. "Where exactly do you live, my friend?" he asked. "Just around the riverbend." was Badidea's reply. "Oh, I've been there before.... wait, aren't there savage indians on the other side?" asked Badluckalot. Badidea was quick to respond "I don't know what you're talking about. I don't know what gave you that idea. That's proposperous. You're wasting time with foolish questions. We should go now. Stop talking." "Oh. okay." "Stop talking." And with that they began marching down the river. Soon they reached the river bend and a strange sound was heard... like chanting.... and fire dancing noises.... Sir Badluckalot stopped in his tracks. "I think I smell campfire and teepees. I'm afraid I'll have to let you go from here by yourself." "Well," replied Mr. Badidea, "I'm afraid I can't let you do that." and with that Badidea grabbed Sir Badluckalot and kissed him a big one *Smooch!*, and POOF! Sir Badluckalot was turned into a Toad! Mr. Badidea said to him, "Sorry it had to turn out this way. I would have been able to feed more people by leaving you human, but you insisted. Now you will be my special meal to myself. Yay! It's my birthday present to me!" And he carried Sir Badluckalot into an indian camp just around the riverbend. From his cage, Badluckalot could see them sharpening a stick with which to cook him roticery style. Then the savages took him out of his cage and set him on a rock and pulled out a hammer to smash his head. Just split-seconds before they did, and indian princess named Pocahantus came running in and screamed "Don't do it! I know this man... toad. I've walked with him once upon a dream! Set him free or take me instead!" Being savages, they did. Pocahantus gave him one frist and last kiss and set him free in the wilderness. He never went back there again, and he decided to change his name to Sir Noliketoads - seeing as that was the third time that had happened to him. And he lived for the rest of his life. The end.

                                        ~ANNE'S          STORY~

Cold night winds blew. Dark clouds hid any evidence of the stars that were meant to give light. The pocketed surface of the moon gave off just enough pale light for the girl to walk. She wouldn't have needed it. She had walked these streets so many times before. She knew every turn, every pothole that had been carved into the pavement by years of rain. She knew who lived in every house next to hers. She knew the hours that they left for work, and when they would return home, and yet she, herself, was invisible. None of them even realized she existed, or perhaps they tried to ignor it. Surely, she thought, they must know. In such a small town, it should have been hard to ignor. She shoved her hands into the pockets of her old, worn jeans. They had large holes on both knees, and were held up by a belt she had found in her mother's closet. They were much to big for her now. Without the belt, she would have a hard time keeping them up, and yet she shuddered when she thought of what her mother would do if she found out she had taken the belt. Her mother had used that very belt against her before, so what was to stop her from doing it again? Nothing. Especially not if there was a good reason. Theft, Holly thought, would qualify as reason for such punishment. Sneaking out would too. But these late night walks were her only escape. She planned as she walked. It would have been easy to just keep walking, and never look back. She thought of this as she walked, and had determined to do so many times, but somehow she always ended up back at the door to her house. She couldn't do it. She couldn't, after forteen years, bring herself to leave, to speak up, to stand up for herself. How could she, when it was all she had ever known? Somewhere in the back of her mind, she knew it was wrong, and that others around her lived good lives. Somehow though, it seemed to her as if she could never attain such a life. She didn't deserve it. She told herself this as she walked. She didn't deserve a "normal" life. Everything she did had always been wrong. She was to blame. Wasn't it her fault her father had left? "He hadn't wanted a kid, and then you had to come along," her mother had told her countless times. "If it weren't for you, we would have had a happy life together." Holly had to wonder why, if she wasn't wanted anyway, her mother hadn't simply had an abortion. Or why her mother had kept her around for so long. Why, if she was such a burdon, didn't her mother just kill her? Sometimes she wished she would. She had gotten close before. There was a long, dark scar on her side where her mother had stabbed her two years before. There were others, some from her mother's brutal attacks, and others that she herself had left. She thought of the neighbors, and wondered if anyone would notice if she was killed, or if she ever had the guts to do it herself. Probably not, she thought, because they hadn't noticed anything else. No, perhaps they had. She was almost certain that they had, they just didn't care. She was worthless to them. A burden to her mother, and worthless to everyone else. She found heself back at her house. At least, she thought, I must matter for something, or I would have been gotten rid of by now. I have a purpose here, even if it is being a punching bag. She knew she was wrong. She knew she was letting her mother control her, and she hated herself for it. She had been resigned to this mindset for so long. It would be hard to break free. As she stood on the porch, her hand touching the doorknob, she looked back to the darkened streets. What if she left? What if she just turned around and kept going? If she never stopped, she would get somewhere eventually. Surely there was someone out there who would help, or maybe she would just keep to herself. Either way, it seemed better than going back inside the house one more time. Either way, she would be free. She let her hand fall from the doorknob to her side, turned around, and started walking. This time, she wasn't looking back.

And for those of you who wanted to but didn't...feel free to beat the crap outta Jessica or Anne....or if you wanted honorable mentino...you can beat up Joseph lol